you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
