I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
