I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
