At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
