do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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