its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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