I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
