We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
