Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
