Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
