i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Drunk is not a location!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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