whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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