i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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