yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
