Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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