I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
