if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
