She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
