I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
