Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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