i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
