We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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