Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
