actually, I'm a sock model
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
