i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
