Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
