honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Plan B is the new Plan A
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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