I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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