There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
