The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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