Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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