you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
