I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
