It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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