who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
