I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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