I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
