i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm really busy with my period
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