So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
