i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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