I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
