ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
