did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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