last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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