ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
