508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
