She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
