The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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