I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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