yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
