He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
