They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
