David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
