singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
