Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
