A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Panties = found
Randomize
