Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
