Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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