is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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